The Life of Brian

Ah! Paper.

2005-12-01T11:06:00.000-08:00

Writing papers on topics you know little to nothing about a.k.a. British Liturature is a difficult task.

Just my random thought of the moment.

Exopolitics

2005-11-29T16:08:00.000-08:00

The former Canadian Minister of Defense has asked the Canadian parliament to consider exopolitcs -- relations with ET. He goes on to say,"The United States military are preparing weapons which could be used against the aliens, and they could get us into an intergalactic war without us ever having any warning. He stated, "The Bush administration has finally agreed to let the military build a forward base on the moon, which will put them in a better position to keep track of the goings and comings of the visitors from space, and to shoot at them, if they so decide."

Bush bashing has reached a new level. Now we are going to blame him when flying saucers land to take over the world and enslave the human race. Did the Defense Minister consider that if these aliens do exist they may not in fact have the best of intentions, and perhaps we should have some weapons ready in case they are hostile. Prepare for the worst hope for the best.

Oh well just one more example of how Canada has lost its mind.

Happy Thanksgiving.

2005-11-24T10:18:00.000-08:00

Show no mercy to your turkey today, because as we all know turkey is a vicious animal, and were the roles reversed the turkey would most certainly not show you any mercy.

Also, please try and refrain from listening to Christmas music. It isn't even December yet folks. Celebrate the holiday at hand before you start getting ready for the next one. I wouldn't be surprised if I started hearing have a happy thanksgiving, an merry Christmas, and a happy new year soon.

So please separate your holidays, and remember have no mercy.

Sharon leaves Likud party.

2005-11-22T23:41:00.000-08:00

(link)

Sharon has left the Likud party in order to found a new group. Sharon and several other defectors have said that the new party will run on a platform of piece with the Palestinian people.

Evil Glenn causes my internet failure.

2005-11-22T23:27:00.000-08:00

(filthy lie)

It seems that Evil Glenn has decided to sign up for Charter internet service. In doing so he has caused several problems for me. First his bad mojo caused my cable modem to break. Then after I had a new modem his karma caused some hillbilly to cut through the line on "accident." Are these things really just coincidence or is it all Glenn's fault?

Three cheers for the internet.

2005-11-22T20:55:00.000-08:00

Sorry I have been absent for a while. My cable modem has been replaced and the internet is now functional.

Some interesting news items since I've been away.

Cheney gets his face xed out on CNN. Talk about media bias. CNN claims it was a computer glitch. If you ask me it was probably a stoned intern. I'm surprised they didn't spice a penis in every couple of frames.

These guys better hope the people that hate us were thinking of this before, because if they weren't they are now.

I used to think only soldiers, cops and mobsters wore body armor. Add toll collectors to that list.

A letter home.

2005-11-18T08:47:00.000-08:00

A letter from a Sgt. in Iraq.

Brought to you by way of Michelle Malkin.

Hell hath no furry like a cable modem scorned.

2005-11-18T08:40:00.000-08:00

You know how when a woman is pissed off you never know what you did, and trying to get her to tell you what's wrong is like prying a twinky away from a fat kid? Well that's what my cable modem is like right now. I have no idea what I did to piss it off, and it is being pretty reluctant about telling me.

So, to make a long story short if I don't get to post don't fear its because the library at school is the only place I can do it from, and the library is a scary place. So, I don't come here often.

Iran.

2005-11-17T20:02:00.000-08:00

Iran's president seems to be crazy.

Mr Ahmadinejad drew international condemnation after he made comments about
wiping Israel off the map. Concern about the government's isolationist stance
has been increased by claims from Tony Blair that Iran is aiding bombmakers
attacking British troops in south-east Iraq.

How do people who are obviously insane get elected?

Liar liar pants on fire.

2005-11-17T15:51:00.000-08:00

Just google the words Clinton Iraq 1998. If Bush is guilty of lying then so is the Democrats favorite son.

The question I would like to pose to everyone is how is this even possible? Just think of the sheer number of people that would have to be involved in such a cover up. Its not a situation where the president can simply lie with impunity. If he had tried to do that some member of one of the intelligence agencies probably would have leaked it. In order for Bush to lie he would have to garner the cooperation of The Vice president, the secretary of Defense, the secretary of State, the joint chiefs, the heads of all twelve government agencies that have an intelligence component, and all the case officers and analysts involved in the Middle East. That's just to name a few. If even one of those people decide they can't go along with the plan then it won't work. All that has to happen is for that one person to let the New York Times or a prominent senator know what happened and there is a full blown investigation into the matter. Of the hundreds of people involved don't you think that if asked to lie at least one person would have thought about all the people that would die and done something about it?

The next question is if you believe that this is possible then is it really possible for it to happen twice without anyone ever knowing? If you believe that is possible then you really shouldn't be a liberal because you have even less faith in the government than I do.

Liar liar pants on fire.

2005-11-17T15:34:00.000-08:00

I grow increasingly weary of all the Bush lied rhetoric. So, I have decided to devote some space in my little corner of the web to find some information to show the fallacy of these assertions.

We'll start with a FrontPage interview of Bill Tierney. Tierney is a former member of the UNSCOM inspection team.

History may well cast the Iraq war in a positive light.

2005-11-16T14:27:00.000-08:00

Michelle Malkin has a good post on how this might be. She reminds us that men like Abraham Lincoln were vilified in their day for starting unpopular wars, but are seen today as national heroes.

Another good article on the subject can be found here. Notice that even the revolutionary war was opposed by two thirds of Americans.

Porkbusting

2005-11-15T20:50:00.000-08:00

I support the Fiscal Watch Team Offset Package. We have to reign in the pet projects that get attached to these budget bills.

China

2005-11-15T19:50:00.000-08:00

"U.S. President George W. Bush is pushing China to grant more freedoms to its people, citing Taiwan as an example of a successful Chinese democracy."

Does it seem like a bad idea to anyone else to criticize China using Taiwan as an example? I can just imagine Hu Jintao sitting there saying, "Taiwan... Chinese democracy... I'll give you democracy." He then picks up the little red phone and sends nukes hurtling towards us.

Glenn Reynolds Terrorist?

2005-11-14T16:46:00.000-08:00

(Filthy Lie.)

The AP reports that a man calling himself Instapundit was arrested by the FBI last night in connection with the Al Alli Bob terrorist group.

We do not yet know the mans real name. What we do know is that this man was found to be in possession of the plans for the most deadly of all WMDs the Yoko box. For those of you not familiar with this device it uses the music of Yoko Ono to incapacitate the victims. It then brakes up the victims favorite band. Casualty rates from this device are thought to be close to one hundred percent.

The man, Instapundit, is thought to have been found searching the internet for the necessary pieces to construct this device. It is also reported that the FBI has detailed the recovery of two hard drives containing schematics for the Yoko.

We will keep you up to date with all developments in this shocking story.

Did you seriously just solicit on my blog?

2005-11-11T10:37:00.000-08:00

For future reference these are going to be the rules of soliciting on my blog.

1. For first time offenders your comment will simply be removed.

2. For second time offenders you will lose your commenting privileges for a period of one month. I don't care if I have to manually remove every comment you try to post.

3. For anyone who didn't get it figured out the first two times I will revoke all commenting privileges permanently, and then hunt you down. When I find you I will lock you in a dark padded room and force you to listen to John Meyer for the rest of your days.

That is unless you are going to cut me a check for 60% of your sales then solicit all you want.

Mayor at 18?

2005-11-11T10:09:00.000-08:00

I am trying to imagine a world in which I was elected mayor of my sleepy home town when I was 18. So I have compiled a list of all the things I would get done as mayor.

1. Move the Tennessee Titans to my home town.

2. Succeed from the union naming the new country The Peoples Republic of Brian.

3. In the spirit of all other countries that have names with Republic in the name we would hold fake elections in which everyone is forced to vote for me.

4. A large statue of myself would be erected outside the new football stadium.

5. All of my highschool buddies would be given important sounding titles like Minister of Cheese Distribution or Secretary of Toenail Clippings.

6. Eliminate all internal taxes.

7. In order to pay for the Stadium I would enact a not PRB tax. For an idea of how this would work see Nuke the Moon .

That’s all I can think of right now. I'll post more as I come up with them.

Happy Birthday Marines.

2005-11-10T09:16:00.000-08:00

The marine corps is much older than I am. No seriously they are like two hundred and thirty years old. That is impressive I don't know many seventy year olds that can open a can of whip ass like the Marine corps can. I can only hope that I am near as spry when I turn two thirty.

Being 21.

2005-11-09T11:31:00.000-08:00

Being twenty one is in reality no different than being twenty. The two main differences, at least in my state, are that you can now buy alcohol and own a handgun.

Now buying your own alcohol is slightly more convenient I suppose, but its really not much different than giving someone else money and having them get it for you. On the flip side everyone wants you to go get beer for them. A down side of turning twenty one they never tell you about.

As far as owning a handgun this requires money and is prohibitively expensive for someone who is a college student. Plus most colleges don't allow you to be packing. A bumber seeing as how walking home by yourself at night in a college town is about the best reason there is to own a handgun. Plus after the Katrina disaster, and the riots in France I have come to the conclusion that in a disaster there is no guarantee that the government is going to be willing or able to defend you or your property in an emergency. All this is to say that while I think a gun would be useful I can't afford one and I can't convince my parents that I need one.

So, in conclusion all those of you who are peeing your pants in anticipation of turning the big two one don't hold your breath. Its really kind of a let down.

Good or Evil?

2005-11-08T14:29:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in a loooooong time so I thought I'd get on here and let you know some fun facts.

Apperently this site is 63% good.

Some other sites of interest.
The Whitehouse

http://www.democrats.org

http://www.gop.com

http://www.catholic.org

So, you see the democrats really are more evil than the republicans, and the Catholics are even more evil than the democrats. I knew that God couldn't possibly be a Notre Dame fan, because you see God is a hokie. Thats right a hokie. You see a man named Lee Corso thought it would be a good idea to pick against the hokies while they were playing in Blacksburg. What happend to him? Well his car was struck by lightning. Yep thats right folks don't mess with VT.

I don't really know what this post has to do with anything.

Quote of the day.

2005-08-22T14:32:00.000-07:00

"Speaking of Lance, everyone keeps raving how he's such a physical specimen, how he's unbelievable, how he's an inspiration and everything else -- and I'm not denying any of that -- but what about Jack Nicholson? The guy's been partying like a madman for four decades now: Outlived Belushi and Hunter S., looks 10 times better than Keith Richards and Jan Michael Vincent, still hangs with 25-year-olds and Playboy bunnies ... I mean, everyone else from his generation is either dead, brain-dead or stone-cold sober, and he's still chugging along like a college sophomore at Mardi Gras. So where's his Nike commercial?"
-- Bill Simmons, ESPN.

Iraq.

2005-08-22T11:38:00.000-07:00

The draft of the constitution leads me to believe that there is a fundamental problem in Iraq that we may not be able to solve. What worries me is that no matter what I don't think the Shiites and Sunnis will be able to agree on many issues. My fear is that once we leave relations will break down between the two groups, and civil war may ensue. In which case we will be back in Iraq ten years from now with the same dilemmas we have now.

I have yet to read any articles by people who agree with me, but I'm sure I can't be the the only person that thinks there is a much bigger issue here than just trying to come to terms on a constitution. Its the middle east religious strife is the name of the game. Hopefully Iraqis will get a taste of peace and liberty and decide to work out their differences, but I doubt it.

NCAA buys the NIT.

2005-08-18T13:37:00.000-07:00

There isn't really much I can say that this article doesn't cover. Except that I am highly disappointed that the NCAA now has more power than it already did. This is the same organization that has banned mascots, that many schools used years before the NCAA was even conceived, from post season games; that would not allow Georgia fans to fly the father of a Boise State player home from Baghdad to watch his son play. Now there is no alternative to the NCAA.

The NCAA has been out of control for many years now. Claiming to have the best interest of the student athlete at heart when in reality the only thing the NCAA cares about is filling its coffers and those of its member schools. This is the only reason athletes cannot be paid. Keeping them out of the financial loop allows the NCAA to keep its sizeable wealth. How is an athlete receiving an endorsement different from a music major being paid to play in church. If I wished to sell my all-state patch on eBay (not that anyone would want it) I could, and I would be allowed to continue performing music at my university; However, two Georgia players were suspended by the NCAA for selling their SEC championship rings. Before I was at Virginia Tech it was a common custom for the band to go play for the tailgaters. During this event they would take food and alcohol from the fans. If a player were to take this handout he would be handed a one game suspension from the NCAA. The world isn't fair, but the way we treat our college athletes is criminal.

Now its not just the athletes that are being treated poorly. The families of the players are suffering. The students of schools like Illinois have to suffer the indignity of having their mascot, a symbol of pride in their university and state, being banned from post season play.

Now that the NCAA has stood up to the judicial system and come away unscathed what will they do next?

Just drive!

2005-08-17T13:49:00.000-07:00

How is it you can get behind a car that drives 55 all the way through the construction zone, and then when it hits the end decides it would be pertinent to slow down to 40 miles an hour? I mean seriously, how slow can you be that you don’t realize you need to slow down until you get to the very end of the construction, and then can’t understand that now that you are past it the speed limit is actually 55? Perhaps these people should start taking the short buss to Shelbyville instead of driving themselves.

The life of Brian returns.

2005-08-15T14:25:00.000-07:00

I have returned to make sure you never have to go without my random thoughts.